Sunday, December 2, 2012

Baby James is Born, God's Perfect Timing

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." -James 1:17

As many of you know my pregnancy with James was a very difficult one. We found out I was expecting our little miracle at 9 weeks, he is an unexpected little blessing and we honestly thought I was just rather sick. When we went in for out first appointment they could not find his heartbeat, which was a very difficult thing for me because according to my calculations I knew I was between 12 and 18 weeks. When his ultrasound came back with a heartbeat and the image of our growing 12 week baby we were completely overjoyed! At 15 weeks I started spotting, that was another trial, I was torn between complete trust that God would get us through anything and fear that I'd lose our sweet little baby. The spotting went on for almost two weeks, but the ultrasound again revealed a growing healthy baby. At 22 weeks, just one week after finding out we were having a boy, I started having contractions and early labor. Those went on for the rest of my pregnancy. I was put on bed rest, had a home nurse come once a week to give me a shot of progesterone to keep me from dilating, I had steroid injections to help James' lungs develop faster, I was on Procardia to try to keep the contractions under control, and I went to the hospital 4 times for IVs and shots to stop labor.We counted every week down as I was in constant pain and our children were passed off to different baby sitters and various meals came and wonderful ladies came to clean, and I rested. Sometimes I rested as one resigned to everything going on and knew that the end result would be my baby boy, sometimes I was rather difficult to be around and the piled up dishes and the house projects not getting done and my husband not understanding how stressful watching him sit when there were a million things to do when if it were in my power I'd be up doing them even if I had a cold or headache, would really get to me. I knew the whole time that if I allowed Him to, God would work in my life more patience, more love, and more willingness to help others in their need.

We hoped to make it to at least week 35, and then week 35 came and I rejoiced with such thankfulness, then I prayed for week 36 and it too came. After that I felt really sick, the contractions were worse, I was dizzy, could barely eat anything, it hurt to move, the baby was "engaged" low and there was a lot of pressure from that, so on Thanksgiving day when I was able to tick off week 36 I was ready to meet my little guy, but was praying for God to work out the timing on everything. I had an infection that was not responding to medication so it was decided that I would have another c-section. I was also informed that because of the infection if my water broke or I became dilated too far the infection could reach the baby and harm him so getting in to the hospital ASAP was important. That was very confusing for me, because I had been in labor for almost 3 months at that time, so knowing when it was more of the same or not was going to be difficult.

Monday, November 26th, 36 weeks and 4 days. I had just eaten lunch with our two year old and I was attempting to guide her in the clean up of the crayons and paper she had scattered all over the living room when something felt different followed my a trickle, which lead to some investigations which made me think that just maybe my water had broken, which caused some panic, because, my husband was not home, I didn't have the car or our daughter's car seat, couldn't find her socks or shoes, was in my pajamas, and water breakage was dangerous. I called my husband, he was about an hour away, we knew we couldn't wait, couldn't reach my mother-in-law, I was balling, my daughter was worried, she asked me if daddy made me cry, which made me smile a little and realize that I needed to pull myself together. I assured her that daddy doesn't make mommy cry, my tummy just hurt. My husband had called one of our pastor's wives and she was on her way. When I prayed for God's timing, I thought things would work a little better in the getting to the hospital, but they did work, she got us there, had a car seat and could take Emma, and I am so thankful! Long story short, my husband got there, my mother was called, they determined that my water probably was leaking, but not bad (which was a huge blessing!) the doctor was called and I was prepared for the c-section all with in a very short amount of time.

Here is where God went above and beyond to prove to me that His timing was absolute perfection. We were having a very hard time deciding on my having a tubal ligation, we had such mixed feeling about it. We wondered if it was wrong for us to pick our child number on our own and not just leave it completely up to God, or if making that choice was okay to do, especially in light of the fact that my pregnancies just got more complicated each time and our families were having such a hard time helping us with this pregnancy that any more would be a hardship on everyone. We also weren't sure if we wanted to be done, we loved having our little blessings, and we would never mind having more. Our debate went on and we found out that the insurance would only cover the tubal if we had signed the papers 6 weeks before the delivery. We thought that was our answer, it was too late, end of story. Well, we were surprised that the doctor came in and asked if we wanted it done, I said we didn't get the papers signed and he said that because this was indeed and emergency they waved the 6 weeks and he could do it if we wanted him to. Much to my surprise I wanted him to, and we both agreed real quick. The other small thing is that apparently my first c-section was not preformed very well. The cut was too wide and too low, it made weight loss and recovery of my figure really difficult. Well, due to the timing and the doctors on call, they were able to fix all the mistakes for me, the end result is as the one doctor said, a mini micro tummy tuck to repair what was previously done. Let me just say, that at 3 days post operation my tummy looked better that it had in over two years and is healing so much better than I ever thought it could. This is a very trivial thing, I don't really believe that cosmetic surgery is the right thing to do, I'd never have even thought to have anything done with the mess I was left with, and what was done is so small that anyone else might not ever notice, but I am just so thankful that I won't only look better to myself, but that it already feels much better. Those are just the minor things that were timed perfectly, here is the big miracle. James, even though considered premature, is healthy! He weighed 6lbs 15.3 ounces! He scored a 9 out of 9 on both of his APGAR tests, his color is perfect, he has a head full of dark brown hair, and he has not had a single problem. An extra blessing is that he is an excellent eater! Both of my girls had so many problems eating, they couldn't latch on. James required very little work, basically,  and this sounds crazy, but I told him what to do and he did it. He nurses like a pro and that makes mommy's life so much easier!

I just thought I'd share the added blessings. We are thrilled beyond words that our little boy is healthy and thriving. He has a wonderful personality, he is adorable. We could always feel that someone was missing from our family, we had that tiny void, after I had Emma and we thought we would have to be done, we were devastated, we wanted another child, we wanted to have a son too. I know we don't deserve to have been so blessed by God to have the little boy of our dreams, but He saw fit to give him anyway. It wasn't an easy journey, I'm honestly very thankful that it wasn't. Every moment of labor, every tear, every fear was worth it, and God once again showed me that He will never fail me. It all worked out the way we wanted it to, no NICU experience, when we needed help the most with the girls, or the house work, or a meal, it was taken care of. Every little detail was lovingly planned by our heavenly Father long before. I am just so thankful for God's absolutely perfect timing!

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